The Incredible Hulk Reappears!!!

Lots of things have been ruining days for me recently. Not big, life altering things; just a lot of dumb little things:

1) I played in a 9 inning game on Sunday and only got one at-bat. One measly at bat. Grr…
2) My phone started randomly popping up a message that says, “This accessory is not optimized for this iPhone.” What accessory??
3) I’ve been forgetting my chapstick (well, actually Aquaphor) at home regularly. Don’t get me started on how important lip balm is in my life – and in other people’s lives too, apparently.
4) My house. Why does it always feel like I need to fix something up? And why does it always feel so dirty?
5) I lost my Incredible Hulk travel coffee mug. I guess I have to finally start acting like a grown up.


The last one on the list really got to me. After all, this year has been a very transitional year for me. Compare these two conversations from this year and last year:

(Last year)

Student: “Mr. Lin, who invented math?”

Mr. Lin: “Math has existed since the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Mr. Lin was a young boy.”

Student: “Mr. Lin, stop pretending like you’re old.”


(This year)

Student A: “Mr. Lin, how old are you?"

Mr. Lin: “Old. So old I had a pet dinosaur when I was a kid.”

Student B: “No he’s not! He’s 34.”

Student A: “Wow, you look young, but you’re really old!”

OUCH! Well, I guess I had to face reality at some point. In any case, to cheer myself up I decided today to take note of the little things that MAKE my day, instead of ruin my day.

1) Coffee from Starbucks yesterday. FREE. From a pretty girl. It doesn’t get much better than that!
2) A student laughed at my math message* on Monday and said, “I love this class!”
3) The Pittsburgh Steelers are my football team. It’s nice to cheer for a team that wins. (Sorry Skins fans!)
4) My new memory-foam mattress. So wonderful, it makes 6 hours of sleep feel like 8. Seriously.
5) My Incredible Hulk mug magically reappeared in the teacher’s lounge.


I love working with 10 year olds. They are so entertaining that I don’t even need TV. And, they give fantastic gifts at the end of the year – gift cards, drawings, new whacking sticks (yes, I really got one), and one ceramic mug complete with a spill-proof lid and featuring the image of a large, green Marvel superhero. It also came with the words, “I’ll never forget you, Mr. Lin.”

It’s amazing how the little things can make you feel so good. They can even make you feel like a kid again.

*A warm up activity to get students thinking about math. I think this one was, “Mr. Lin needs to buy new whacking sticks because he broke all of his old ones. Use the table in your handout to determine which store he should buy them at.”

Dr. Lin and the Case of the Mysteriously Disappearing Hiccups

Yesterday, a student came up to me with a major problem:

Student: "Dr. Lin, I have the hiccups. They won't go away."

Me: "Hmm. Come with me, I have something for you."

I have an unusual (but very effective) cure for hiccups. I took him to the teacher's lounge, filled up a cup of water, and instructed him to drink while I pulled on his earlobes. And... his hiccups disappeared.

Right now I'm sure you have a very confused look on your face. You might even be thinking,

"What on earth? That's absolutely ridiculous."

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. 10 years ago, I had the following conversation with a friend:

Me: "I've got the hiccups. They won't go away."

Friend: "I'll help you out. Get some water. I'll pull on your ears while you drink. I promise, your hiccups will be gone instantly."

Me: "That's stupid. I'll keep holding my breath. I'm sure they'll go away.”

After several hours of reoccurring hiccups, I finally relented.

Me: "OK fine. I've tried everything else. Do your thing. I can't believe I'm trying this."

I drank water as she stood behind me and pulled on my earlobes. Instantly, my hiccups disappeared.*

If only I was as open-minded as my 10 year old student, I wouldn’t have suffered through 4 hours of agony (yes, those hiccups were THAT bad!). There’s definitely something special (and rewarding!) about having faith like a child.


Author’s note: Years later, I found that there was a scientific reason for why this method works.

It's a Beautiful Day...

Unfortunately, it’s unseasonably warm for October.

Yes, you read that right. It’s 75 degrees outside and the abundant colors of an autumn afternoon are highlighted by a sun which shares the sky with mere wisps of white cotton. It's a gorgeous day, so why am I saying that this is unfortunate? The answer lies in a conversation held at least once per year at every elementary school across the United States - usually after 5th graders have P.E. or recess on a hot day.

5th Grade Teacher #1: “Whoa. Did you get a whiff of the 5th graders today?

5th Grade Teacher #2: “Yup. Looks like it’s time for the hygiene talk.”

Unseasonably warm in October means that the powers-that-be that control temperatures in our school didn't turn on the air conditioning. Can you guess what a classroom of kids that have been marinating in their own sweat for 6 hours at 2 PM is like?

In elementary school, we are to build a good foundation for a child’s future. We cover math, reading, science, social studies, physical education, music, art, and… the importance of deodorant.

Sometimes, it’s the not-so-obvious lessons that are life’s most valuable ones. I'd guess (hope?) that most of us learned this particular lesson before we went in for our first successful job interview.

Maybe even as early as the 5th grade.

Ridiculous Guy Fun

Confused? Let me explain a bit:

Best thing about working in a profession dominated by women:

I'm always surrounded by women.

Worst thing about working in a profession dominated by women:

I'm always surrounded by women.

When word leaked out among my guy friends 2 years ago that I was leaving corporate America to join the ranks of the underpaid and overworked, overwhelmingly their reaction was,

"Dude, that's awesome. Teachers are so hot, and you'll be the only guy! Genius move."

Well, not quite the reason I got into teaching, but I do like the people I work with. And, at the very least, they smell better the the neanderthals I normally surround myself with!

As much as I love the people I work with, I do miss my guy time. I miss doing stupid guy things. Therefore, I took this weekend to have some guy time and go up to Pennsylvania with my buddy Josh*, thinking we were just going to play some golf, eat junk food, and watch my beloved Steelers on their quest for ring number 7. Well, that was the idea until this late night conversation with Josh's dad which forever changed the awesomeness** of the weekend:

Mr. Burns*: I built a 13 foot slingshot the other day

Johnny and Josh: Excuse me?

Mr. Burns: Yeah, it's for a church event on Sunday. We're launching pumpkins into a baseball field. Want to help me test it out?

Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? We were more than happy oblige. After all, we're guys. Add in running amok in an Amish pumpkin patch tossing each other reject pumpkins for ammo, and this would be the epitome of stupid guy fun. This video was taken so you can fully appreciate the velocity of the pumpkins were were launching:



Hope you all had a great Columbus Day weekend!

*Editor's Note: Names in story NOT changed in order to promote their awesomeness.
** yes, this is a real word. Just ask Barney Stinson.

The Doctor is In

Last week started as a normal week. Monday, as per my normal routine, I came in at 6:45, made copies of the homework and classwork for the day, wrote my word study lesson on my easel, and set up my morning message.

Normal doesn't last long in an elementary classroom.

As students were writing in their daily journals about what their weekend was like, one student raised his hand and asked,

“Dr. Lin, may I get a drink of water?”

“Sure,” I answered. The student got up and began to walk to the door.

“Wait… what did you call me?” I asked.

The child stopped, looked at me innocently, and replied,

“Dr. Lin.”

He then proceeded to walk out the door as if there was nothing peculiar about what he just said. Not a soul in the classroom made any indication that what he said was strange either. I chalked this up to one child’s imagination until halfway through math class, as I was explaining how recognizing number patterns help us decompose math problems, a different student raised his hand and asked,

“Dr. Lin, how did you get 5 groups of 10? I only see groups of 7 and groups of 3.”

Why the heck are my kids calling me “Dr. Lin”? I had (and still have) really no idea, but from what I have gathered it all started with a few kids talking during recess or lunch about how I look like a doctor (or, their perception of what a doctor looks like), and it snowballed from there.

Now, my father is an engineering Ph.D so I asked him to come in to visit. This way, I could introduce my kids to the REAL Dr. Lin. Today, much like when my now ex-girlfriend surprised me with a visit on my birthday last year, the kids were mesmerized by the presence of a visitor. His visit during math was a big hit among the kids. Among other things, they found out that I used to get into mischief, that my dad served in the Army, and that there are other types of doctors besides the medical kind. It also didn’t hurt that my dad is a really engaging person with a great smile.

Relating math concepts to their everyday lives is an important element in getting children to understand math. After all, if math isn’t relevant to them, how can they be expected to understand it? As it turns out, my dad’s little visit presented an opportunity to relate real life mathematical scenarios to their lives when a student raised his hand to ask my dad a question.

“Dr. Lin, how old are you?” the student asked.

“That’s rude!” called out another.

“That’s OK,” said my dad. “I’ll let you figure it out. I was born in 1943. How old does that make me?

What a great response by Dr. Lin! Within seconds, my students were applying math to a real life situation, working hard trying to figure out my dad’s age. Did I mention my dad used to teach math (7th grade) prior to starting his Ph.D program? I guess some things just run in the family. As it turns out, this is not limited to the title that my students have given me.

I doubt I’ll ever go back to school and get my Ph.D, but who knows? I’ve said before that I’ll never be like my dad, and in my younger days I never wanted to either. As it turns out, I’m proud that I become more like him with each year that passes.

What I'm TRYING to say is...

Have you ever pored over an important email, needing to convey the right message without eliciting an angry response? Sure, there are times where you need to "tell it how it is", but there are times that call for a different approach. Writing report card comments is one of those times - a delicate balance between delivering the message gently yet effectively, or delivering the message so vaguely that the point is not made. See if you can select the best words from within the parentheses to use:

We welcome (insert student’s name) to the 5th grade! (Student’s name) is a (confident / arrogant / stubborn) student who (has potential when focused / needs to get their butt in gear / is a bully). We are working on (staying on task and keeping a positive attitude / not screwing around all the time / not being a mean person) this quarter and hope (he / she) continues to make progress so (he / she) can (build a strong foundation for their future / has a future that includes a job / has a future that includes friends).

I've never been a good communicator, but being a teacher has helped me work on that. If I dilute my words so much that my point is being missed, that isn't good for the child. If I'm so blunt that the people I'm corresponding with get defensive, that isn't helpful either. Because I want what's best for my students, I pore over my report card comments and carefully select the words I use. And no, I have never felt the urge to write any of the less-than-gentle words in my example above. Honestly!

If only I could always apply this to my personal life too, I'd be golden...