Continuing my series on letters to my students which answer
questions they have is today’s question, from my friend Adam*:
“Can I tell your class next year what it’s like in your class?”
It is the human condition to want to be liked. Developmentally, children in elementary
school want their teachers and parents to love them and approve of them. In middle school and high school, we all want
to be ‘popular.’ As adults, the approval
of our peers and society helps drive how we act. As a teacher?
I’m not sure how it is in other schools, but a team member and I had the
following conversation last year:
Ms. S.: “Now that Penny’s gone, who’s going to be the ‘mean’ teacher?”Mr. Lin: “I want to be the mean teacher!”Ms. S.: “No! I hope it’s me!”
In the world of education, the prophetic words of Nicolas
Machiavelli ring true:
“It is better to be feared than loved”
I begin every year telling my students that 5th
grade will be the hardest year of their lives.
I tell them that I’m not here to be their friend; rather, my job is to
make sure they are learning. I let them
know that it isn’t my job to get them to like me, and if it’s important to them
for me to like them, they need to work harder than they ever have before. To me, work habits are just as important as
their performance at the elementary level, so for my students to earn an ‘A’,
they need to not only show their mastery of material, but also show me their
best effort. On top of that, I expect my
students to respect each other and learn to become good citizens. Because of my standards, I tell them that
I’ll be the meanest teacher that they have ever had.
If you’ve ever been in my classroom however, you might share
the same sentiment as my student Kaylee*, who wrote at the end of the year,
“The first time I met you I thought you were mean and I didn’t think I could survive in your class. But once I started to know you, I thought you were the best teacher! In the whole wide world! Even though you could be mean sometimes, I know you were just trying to make us safe or look out for us.”
One of the greatest lessons I ever learned as a teacher was
one that wasn’t even meant to be taught – it was a lesson by my friend Penny
who told me that although she was tough, her kids knew that she loved
them. That’s what I want to be for my
students – a teacher that is hard on them because I care. I want them to know that I won’t give up on
them, so they can’t give up on themselves either. So… what do I write to my friend Adam, who I
was hard on but who told me at the end of the year I was really nice?
Dear Adam,Thanks for your question! I’m really glad that you want to tell future students what it will be like in my classroom. What you tell them is up to you, but in doing so keep in mind what I’ve always told you: with everything, honesty is the best answer. If you’re honest with people, not only is it helpful to them but they will trust and respect the things you say. And, just as importantly, you need to be honest with yourself – this will allow you to make better decisions in your life.Therefore, I fully endorse you being honest with future students. You may surely tell them that I’m a tough, mean teacher who is always in a bad mood. Let them know that they better work hard, or they need to beware of my whacking stick. And, they should know that the 5th grade will be the hardest year of their lives. Please don’t lie to them and tell them I’m nice or that I’m a fun teacher. If you do, the rigors of the 5th grade might come as a shock to them, and I want my students to come into the year prepared to give their best effort.I hope you’re having a great summer! It was great going for ice cream with you and Frankie* a few weeks ago. I’m really proud of how much you were reading by the end of the year – those weren’t easy books either! Keep me updated next year on how you are doing – if you keep up the hard work and get good grades, maybe we can go out for ice cream again. Best of luck next year!Love,Mr. Lin
*Names Changed
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